But in the midst of this contentment there were strange questions bubbling up in my brain, unbidden. The pages reminded me of zines I had found and admired, and in those pages, I found a tangible peace, because I knew that there was a word for the kind of person I was. I looked through my books and found that little tome of respite, and I considered giving it away.I was married, a ring on my finger and a heaviness in my heart.” Before I took ownership of my solitude, I was constantly trying to find a way to force my partner into my hobbies. I am not any one “it.” I am a wife, but I am also an adventurer. Honesty and Clarity: a Winning Combination Before I rediscovered my ‘quirky’ self, I felt like I was damaged goods.And while it’s great to have things to share with your other half, I found myself becoming discouraged and feeling like there was something “wrong” with us because we weren’t sharing the same interests. If I couldn’t make sense of my feelings in a way I could discuss with the person who was supposed to be here until “death do us part,” how could I be real with anyone else?
I was spending more time on my own, which I found so very, very awesome.That new level of confidence spread to my other interactions with the world. I can go out and spend time with my husband and then still be able to revel in my own space and energy.I still take those trips to the bookstore to wander, and I still lose myself in projects on given days.And understanding that I was a better version of my true self saved my sanity and my marriage.I recognized that for me, quirkyalone doesn’t stop at quirkytogether – it just gets different!
And not only that, but I felt guilty when I left to enjoy my own hobbies. Now, I possess fully my own interests, hobbies and decisions, guilt-free: recognizing the uniqueness of being quirkytogether allowed me the self awareness to realize that my husband and I are two fully-formed individuals. I know that at the end of the day, he’ll be waiting for me, accepting me in whatever role I take on. I Am Not an Archetype The first year of marriage was a lot like the first year of owning a home – it was always the first major topic of any conversation. And that line of thinking led to my own subconscious constantly nudging, as if to say, “Better get used to it. I found myself being antisocial, concerned that I would seem disingenuous, fake or boring.